I did a book report in a staff meeting a while back. It was an excellent book. The author of the book is Dale Burke. The theme of the book is: How to lead and still have a life. Some key points I picked up are:
1. The parable of the talent teaches us that we are to maximize whatever talent we have. We are to not try and muster up talent we don’t have, but recognize and maximize the talents we do have. “Run to your strong side.” (41).
2. He talks about the 4 V’s of leadership: Voice (Whose voice is most important when everyone has a different opinion?), Vision, Values, and Vital relationships (51).
3. People are drawn to and stick like glue to humble leaders. Humble leaders: Accept responsibility (Pride blames others), promote objectivity( Pride causes us to live in denial), are teachable (Pride causes us to be closed minded), stimulate creativity ( Do what you feel is right, just keep it between the ditches) , are flexible (pride causes rigidity, do it my way or I am out of here), Build a team (Pride causes low morale), foster loyalty , and pursue excellence (78-79).
4. How do we speak Humility? Hello, please, thank you, sorry and can I help?
5. Jesus said that if you want to be great, you need to serve. One of the ways we do this is by “Listening to the customer”. We don’t assume we know what they need. We need to listen to them (81).
6. He talked about some vision questions: Where are we going? How? Why bother? After defining the vision, we need to continually evaluating how we are doing. What’s working well? What’s not working well? Based on the above, let’s set 1-2 goals to work on this year. (111).
7. Followers want comfort and stability. If that is all you ever give them, you are not leading them you are babysitting them. We all need to be challenged to go beyond our yesterdays (114).
8. At first, change causes chaos. Expect it. Plan for it. “We are going to have chaos on Sundays for at least a month, and don’t expect all our problems to be cleared up as soon as we get into the building. But eventually we will settle into a new routine. You will learn where to park. How to get around. And God will use this for his glory and the growth of our church. Here are some places you can go if you need more help making this adjustment….(115).
9. How do you mobilize people for ministry? 1. Let them be a part of the dreaming process 2. Let em do it. 3. Encourage them. He talked about the “80 % rule”. When someone can do something 80% as well as you can, give it up (128).
10. How can I lead like Jesus?
11. Stripping it down to it’s essentials, leadership involves three things: A leader, followers, and a common goal (133).
12. Why healthy churches need change? 1. Our world is constantly changing 2. Our mission is yet to be accomplished 3. Our people are constantly changing 4. Every new generation is a new challenge 5. Change is easier when you are healthier, not unhealthy 6. Scripture gives us our functions not our forms. 7. Flexibility should be the norm if we value people over programs 8. Creativity should flow from children of the creator 9. The church is a body, a living organism, and body must change to grow 10. Every church or ministry has a natural life cycle and will eventually die unless it is “reborn” from with in. (167).
13. Every leader needs to set aside time to think, pray, and contemplate, and reflect. Furthermore, we need to lead in response to reality, not from what we wish it was (170).
14. How to plan your week? Plan it around the 4 R’s (Rest, results (What are the miss ional critical issues? Give the best part of your day to these things), response (What do I need to clean-up and follow up?), refocus (During this time you work on the mission not in the mission. You assess. You adjust. You innovate).
15. Foster hope in people (H-elp…how can I help?, O-ptimism…you can do it. P-ersitence…it is always too soon to quit. E-xplore options. You have options)
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Activity of God
THE INNER EAR
"Steve, get out of the office," I heard the still, small voice with in say.
I have all this stuff to do, was my first thought. I decided to listen to the nudge. As I got in my car and drove to Kasson, I felt like I was suppose to go to a particular store.
I have to pick up Dalton in 20 minutes. I don't have time to shop, I thought. God didn't send me there to shop, I learned later.
How are you, I said to the person who walked in behind me. They broke down, and told me about all the struggles in their life. I was able to minister to them.
As I reflect on that experience I think about all I would of missed out on if I would of ignored the still, small voice. Are you listening with your "inner ear"?
GOD IS AT WORK IN YOUR WORLD
Lately God has impressed in me this truth: He is at work in our world. He is at work at our work. He is just as much at work in the local school as He is at the local church. And He wants us to join Him in what He is already doing.
Therefore, when I get up in the morning I pray for spiritual sensitivity. I pray that my "inner ear" will be open to hear what God is saying, so I can join Him. I want to encourage you to do the same. Listen. Obey. Join Him in the grand adventure.
"Steve, get out of the office," I heard the still, small voice with in say.
I have all this stuff to do, was my first thought. I decided to listen to the nudge. As I got in my car and drove to Kasson, I felt like I was suppose to go to a particular store.
I have to pick up Dalton in 20 minutes. I don't have time to shop, I thought. God didn't send me there to shop, I learned later.
How are you, I said to the person who walked in behind me. They broke down, and told me about all the struggles in their life. I was able to minister to them.
As I reflect on that experience I think about all I would of missed out on if I would of ignored the still, small voice. Are you listening with your "inner ear"?
GOD IS AT WORK IN YOUR WORLD
Lately God has impressed in me this truth: He is at work in our world. He is at work at our work. He is just as much at work in the local school as He is at the local church. And He wants us to join Him in what He is already doing.
Therefore, when I get up in the morning I pray for spiritual sensitivity. I pray that my "inner ear" will be open to hear what God is saying, so I can join Him. I want to encourage you to do the same. Listen. Obey. Join Him in the grand adventure.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Fighting for your Marriage
12-5-07
Here are some key thoughts from a book I read a while back called: Fighting for Your Marriage!
1. The number one key to a strong relationship is mutual honor. “The simple reality is the most of us are least honoring to those we love the most.” (27)
2. Women tend to want to talk more; men tend to want to fight less. Women tend to want to deal with the conflict. Men tend to clam up (29).
3. Couples need a “no matter what” commitment. Couples will not work through major issues with out this. Because they are afraid it will ruin them. (35).
4. Why does one spouse tend to avoid the other? You start to associate pain with them not joy, so you want to avoid them (38).
5. Escalation is when a couple keeps responding negatively to each other and they up the ante each time.
6. Invalidation is when partner puts down the thoughts and feelings of another.
7. Say “Let’s do a replay” when a conversation has gone bad. Let’s start over.
8. “Confirmation bias”- we tend to hear and look for evidence that supports out opinions.
9. 96% of time how couples begin a conversation is how it will continue. “Gentle start” (61).
10. Women tend to see intimacy as verbal communication; men tend to see it as a shared activity.
11. You can tell what people want by listening to what they complain about.
12. Men look for ways to show your wife that you are concerned about how the relationship is going.
13. Why do people withdrawal? 1. They feel anxious about the topic 2. They feel less confident that any thing good will come about from it 3. We pull away from things we are not quite sure we can handle 4. In marriage drawing back has more to do with conflict then it does commitment
14. Don’t assume your partner is ready to listen just cause you are. ASK.
15. Don’t mind read. You think you know why they did or said something and you judge them based on that guess.
16. When you are talking about the past say: “I am not sure of what I said, but here is what I meant to say…here is what I wished now I would of said.”
17. “All couples have problems, and even the happiest couples don’t ever solve some of their key problems…Many partners believe there is something wrong with their marriage if they have problems that are not readily solvable. This belief can be very damaging to a relationship. One of the pathways to unhappiness and divorce lies not so much in having problems but in believing that there is something seriously wrong with your relationship because you have not solved all your problems” (153).
18. In working through conflict we either have the mindset that we are enemies or teammates.
19. “I want my husband to listen to me, not try and fix me.” #1 complaint of most women.
20. 70% of couples problems could be solved if they just took the time to understand one another.
21. We tend to make negative judgments about others motives.
Here are some key thoughts from a book I read a while back called: Fighting for Your Marriage!
1. The number one key to a strong relationship is mutual honor. “The simple reality is the most of us are least honoring to those we love the most.” (27)
2. Women tend to want to talk more; men tend to want to fight less. Women tend to want to deal with the conflict. Men tend to clam up (29).
3. Couples need a “no matter what” commitment. Couples will not work through major issues with out this. Because they are afraid it will ruin them. (35).
4. Why does one spouse tend to avoid the other? You start to associate pain with them not joy, so you want to avoid them (38).
5. Escalation is when a couple keeps responding negatively to each other and they up the ante each time.
6. Invalidation is when partner puts down the thoughts and feelings of another.
7. Say “Let’s do a replay” when a conversation has gone bad. Let’s start over.
8. “Confirmation bias”- we tend to hear and look for evidence that supports out opinions.
9. 96% of time how couples begin a conversation is how it will continue. “Gentle start” (61).
10. Women tend to see intimacy as verbal communication; men tend to see it as a shared activity.
11. You can tell what people want by listening to what they complain about.
12. Men look for ways to show your wife that you are concerned about how the relationship is going.
13. Why do people withdrawal? 1. They feel anxious about the topic 2. They feel less confident that any thing good will come about from it 3. We pull away from things we are not quite sure we can handle 4. In marriage drawing back has more to do with conflict then it does commitment
14. Don’t assume your partner is ready to listen just cause you are. ASK.
15. Don’t mind read. You think you know why they did or said something and you judge them based on that guess.
16. When you are talking about the past say: “I am not sure of what I said, but here is what I meant to say…here is what I wished now I would of said.”
17. “All couples have problems, and even the happiest couples don’t ever solve some of their key problems…Many partners believe there is something wrong with their marriage if they have problems that are not readily solvable. This belief can be very damaging to a relationship. One of the pathways to unhappiness and divorce lies not so much in having problems but in believing that there is something seriously wrong with your relationship because you have not solved all your problems” (153).
18. In working through conflict we either have the mindset that we are enemies or teammates.
19. “I want my husband to listen to me, not try and fix me.” #1 complaint of most women.
20. 70% of couples problems could be solved if they just took the time to understand one another.
21. We tend to make negative judgments about others motives.
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