Recently I read a book called the Six thinking Hats. It really blessed me. The thesis of the book is this: there are different ways to think. We can think in a positive way, or a negative way. We can think in an emotional way or a objective way. We can think in a creative way or an organization way. And the point is this: If I come to you with an idea and I am thinking in a positive, can do way, and all you do is tell me why it will never work, guess what? Sparks are going to fly. What if we could all look at a problem in the same way.
We can by using the six hats method. Let’s take a look at the six hats.
1. The white hat.
White is a neutral color. The white hat refers to neutral or objective information. When you both put on your white hat and think in a similar way, you put the problem on the coffee table and ask, “What do the experts say about this situation? What are the facts?”
2. The red hat.
The red hat represents getting red in the face. It represents getting worked up emotionally. And when you put on your red hat you simply say, “This is how I am feeling about this situation…”
Now let me share with you a tip. Before you spend, think through your purchase using the red hat. Often we buy something on a purely emotional impulse. Going through the six hats helps you to avoid doing that.
3. The Black hat.
The black hat is the hat of caution. It is the critical hat. It is the devil’s advocate hat. It is the “seeing what’s wrong hat.” With this hat, you look at the problem and ask, “
“What’s missing? What’s wrong here?”
In the book, the author says that this is probably the most important hat. And as a society, we are trained to wear it all the time. So many of us are continually looking at the world with our black hat on. But we need to practice looking at it with our other hats on as well.
4. The yellow hat.
The yellow hat represents sunshine. It is the positive thinking hat. It is looking on the bright side. It is asking the question, “ What is good here? What are the benefits of this problem?”
5. The green hat.
Green represents grass. It represents growth. When you put on this hat, you brain storm creative ways to solve your problems. You make a list of possibilities to solve your problem.
When Robert Schuller moved to California to start a church he found a major problem he had to overcome. He couldn’t find a place to meet. You have to hold church somewhere. He couldn’t find out. What did he do? He put on his green hat and made a list of possible place he could meet. His list included places like other churches, funeral homes, and then at the bottom of the list was a outdoor movie theatre. Him and his wife took their honey moon in Okoboji, Ia and saw a church there that holds it service in a outdoor movie theatre. That is where he got the idea. And guess where the Crystal cathedral got started? Meeting in an outdoor movie theatre. And it all started with Schuller putting his green hat on. He calls it “count to ten and win.” When you are facing a problem, come up with 10 possibilities. That’s your green hat.
6. The blue hat.
The blue hat represents blue prints. It represents plans. It represents a plan of action. After wearing all the hats, you now make a plan of action. You write a plan of what you are going to do as a result of your brain storming.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Third service update!
We have been dealing with a lack of space? We presented the church a plan to deal with it? Our plan included a short term, mid-term, and long term remedy.
Short-term-have kids go back to Sunday school right away during the 10:15 service.
Mid-term- have 3rd service
Long-term-Build an addition to our building.
Our first step was to have the option available for kids to go back to their Sunday school classes right away at 10:15. Many parents are taking advantage of that. Another good trend is that since we made those announcements and plans More people have been coming to the first service. Therefore, we don;t think we will have to go to the third service any time soon.
I do want to let you know that the survey found that the overwhelming choice for another service would be Saturday night. 75% said that.
Short-term-have kids go back to Sunday school right away during the 10:15 service.
Mid-term- have 3rd service
Long-term-Build an addition to our building.
Our first step was to have the option available for kids to go back to their Sunday school classes right away at 10:15. Many parents are taking advantage of that. Another good trend is that since we made those announcements and plans More people have been coming to the first service. Therefore, we don;t think we will have to go to the third service any time soon.
I do want to let you know that the survey found that the overwhelming choice for another service would be Saturday night. 75% said that.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
What is a Problem?
The other day I sat down and asked this question: How can I redefine problems? Here is what I came up with:
What is a problem?
- An opportunity for God to bring good out of bad!
- An opportunity to find meaning. It's in solving them that life has meaning.
- An opportunity for work. With out them most of us would not have a job.
- An opportunity for confidence. Yes, with God’s help, we can solve them.
- And opportunity for possibilities.
- An opportunity for pro-activity. It’s the not the problem; it’s my reaction to it that counts.
- An opportunity for Character development.
- An opportunity to witness for Christ!
What is a problem?
- An opportunity for God to bring good out of bad!
- An opportunity to find meaning. It's in solving them that life has meaning.
- An opportunity for work. With out them most of us would not have a job.
- An opportunity for confidence. Yes, with God’s help, we can solve them.
- And opportunity for possibilities.
- An opportunity for pro-activity. It’s the not the problem; it’s my reaction to it that counts.
- An opportunity for Character development.
- An opportunity to witness for Christ!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Knowing yourself!
In his book Jesus of Nazareth, Pope Benedict XVI wrote, " Man knows himself only when he learns to understadn himself in the light of God, and he knows others only when he sees the mystery of God in them."
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Detached from the things of this world!
Forbid it Lord, that our roots become to firmly attached to this earth, that we should fall in love with things. Help us to understand that the pilgrimage of this life is but an introduction, a preface, a training school for what is to come. Then we see all of life in it’s true perspective. Then shall we not fall in love with the things of time, but come to love the things that endure. Then shall we be saved from the tyranny of possessions which we have no leisure to enjoy, of property who care becomes a burden. Give is, we pray , the courage to simplify our life.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Coward's Guide to Conflict
Yesterday I spoke on the topic of conflict resolution to a group of pastors. I called it the "The Coward's Guide to Conflict." Why? I don't like dealing with conflict. In my natural state I would rather avoid it then deal with it. So I shared some things I have leanred a long the way:
1. Am I prolonging the agony by postponing the surgery?
2. Have I affirmed my commitment to the other person?
3. What was my part in the conflict?
4. Has Satan used this conflict to get my eyes off the big picture?
5. Have I taken time to “seek 1st to understand”?
6. Have I listened to both sides of the story?
7. Do I expect that we can work out the issue?
8. Have we lost sight of what we have in common?
9. Have I helped recall their past good relationship?
10. Do I believe: “Conflict is inevitable. No one has to be at fault. Conflict just is. Lets focus on working things out.”
1. Am I prolonging the agony by postponing the surgery?
2. Have I affirmed my commitment to the other person?
3. What was my part in the conflict?
4. Has Satan used this conflict to get my eyes off the big picture?
5. Have I taken time to “seek 1st to understand”?
6. Have I listened to both sides of the story?
7. Do I expect that we can work out the issue?
8. Have we lost sight of what we have in common?
9. Have I helped recall their past good relationship?
10. Do I believe: “Conflict is inevitable. No one has to be at fault. Conflict just is. Lets focus on working things out.”
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Votes are in!
Yesterday we brought up the idea of going to a 3rd service. We are so full in our 2nd service that new people come in and probably think, "They don't have room for us." Here is what the results of that vote was:
The people wanted a 3rd service on:
Sunday Am-----22%
Saturday night-73%
Off site-2%
Again, we are planning for the future. Nothing is in stone. We are seeking God's mind on this exciting challenge! Thanks for your input.
The people wanted a 3rd service on:
Sunday Am-----22%
Saturday night-73%
Off site-2%
Again, we are planning for the future. Nothing is in stone. We are seeking God's mind on this exciting challenge! Thanks for your input.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Six Steps to Settling Differences
Six months into our church plant, the two most influential families had a fight. Nasty words were exchanged, battle lines drawn. Both sides began recruiting people to their cause. Something had to be done, but what? I held separate meetings with the two parties, but that just made things worse.
“Lord, help me,” I prayed desperately. I set up another meeting with both families.
Then I witnessed a divine intervention. As I fretted over the coming confrontation, Ron knocked on my office door. Unlike others, however, he didn’t come to complain.
“Would you like some help holding a peace conference?” he asked. Ron is a school principal, well versed in conflict resolution. I gratefully accepted his offer.
Ron led the meeting gracefully, compassionately, and thoughtfully. It was a great success. At the beginning of the “peace conference,” the two sides wouldn’t even look at each other. Afterward, they were laughing and hugging. Not only did he help resolve the biggest conflict we’d ever had, he taught me skills on how to deal with conflict.
Here’s how he did it:
1. Ice-breaker. Ron started with a conversational tone, not a confrontational one. “We all know why we are here today,” Ron began. “There is hurt in our hearts and misunderstanding in our minds. For the good of the church and the kingdom of God, we must reconcile. Before we dive into the issues, let’s open with a question. I would like each of you to break up into groups of two, and discuss this question, What is your favorite hobby and why?”
I know it sounds silly, but it worked. There were eight people at that meeting. After the first pairings discussed the question, he broke us up again and again, until everybody got a chance to converse over a non-jugular issue.
2. Information. Ron shared some ground rules. Without rules, meetings often do more harm than good.
Norm Shawchuck in How to Manage Conflict in the Church offers three ground rules for “peace conferences”: permission, potency, and protection. People are given permission to disagree. Each person is allowed to share their views strongly as long as they do it with respect. No one will be allowed to inflict intentional pain on others.
3. Illumination. Next Ron prayed. His prayer was full of grace and love. He prayed that the Lord would bring reconciliation, understanding, and restoration.
4. Issues. “What are your concerns?” he asked. After each person spoke, Ron would clarify what they said. “Correct me if I am wrong, but you feel used?” “If I am hearing you correctly, you are saying that she was disrespectful in what she said?” “I am trying to see it from your point of view, and if I do, you feel that you were intentionally hurt?”
When one side spoke, the other filtered their claims through anger and hurt. But when Ron paraphrased what was said, the opposing sides listened. Why? He was a “neutral” party. You could see the tension subside.
Behind him was a giant Post-It note on the wall with a line drawn down the middle and the sides marked “A” and “B.” After he clarified an issue, he would write it down. He then asked the other side to comment on that issue.
This step took two hours. It helped the parties “unload their files” from memory.
5. Implications. Ron asked two questions: What is the worst thing that could happen if we don’t resolve this conflict? and, What is the best thing that could happen if we resolve this conflict? Again, he wrote their answers down. It became clear that the outcome of this conflict would either make or break the church.
Then he asked, “Which scenario do we want to shoot for?” Ron moved the group from defending adversarial positions to unanimously voting to seek a mutual position.
6. Ideas. “What are some ideas for reaching that goal?” Ron asked. As a team, they brainstormed and agreed on an answer. Finally Ron returned to the first large notes and, one by one, reviewed their original concerns. “What are we going to do about this concern?” he asked, making sure every concern was dealt with. Later I typed up my notes from the meeting, and sent a copy to everybody involved.
After that meeting, enemies became friends and peace was restored. I have used these techniques since to mend marriages and heal friendships.
“Lord, help me,” I prayed desperately. I set up another meeting with both families.
Then I witnessed a divine intervention. As I fretted over the coming confrontation, Ron knocked on my office door. Unlike others, however, he didn’t come to complain.
“Would you like some help holding a peace conference?” he asked. Ron is a school principal, well versed in conflict resolution. I gratefully accepted his offer.
Ron led the meeting gracefully, compassionately, and thoughtfully. It was a great success. At the beginning of the “peace conference,” the two sides wouldn’t even look at each other. Afterward, they were laughing and hugging. Not only did he help resolve the biggest conflict we’d ever had, he taught me skills on how to deal with conflict.
Here’s how he did it:
1. Ice-breaker. Ron started with a conversational tone, not a confrontational one. “We all know why we are here today,” Ron began. “There is hurt in our hearts and misunderstanding in our minds. For the good of the church and the kingdom of God, we must reconcile. Before we dive into the issues, let’s open with a question. I would like each of you to break up into groups of two, and discuss this question, What is your favorite hobby and why?”
I know it sounds silly, but it worked. There were eight people at that meeting. After the first pairings discussed the question, he broke us up again and again, until everybody got a chance to converse over a non-jugular issue.
2. Information. Ron shared some ground rules. Without rules, meetings often do more harm than good.
Norm Shawchuck in How to Manage Conflict in the Church offers three ground rules for “peace conferences”: permission, potency, and protection. People are given permission to disagree. Each person is allowed to share their views strongly as long as they do it with respect. No one will be allowed to inflict intentional pain on others.
3. Illumination. Next Ron prayed. His prayer was full of grace and love. He prayed that the Lord would bring reconciliation, understanding, and restoration.
4. Issues. “What are your concerns?” he asked. After each person spoke, Ron would clarify what they said. “Correct me if I am wrong, but you feel used?” “If I am hearing you correctly, you are saying that she was disrespectful in what she said?” “I am trying to see it from your point of view, and if I do, you feel that you were intentionally hurt?”
When one side spoke, the other filtered their claims through anger and hurt. But when Ron paraphrased what was said, the opposing sides listened. Why? He was a “neutral” party. You could see the tension subside.
Behind him was a giant Post-It note on the wall with a line drawn down the middle and the sides marked “A” and “B.” After he clarified an issue, he would write it down. He then asked the other side to comment on that issue.
This step took two hours. It helped the parties “unload their files” from memory.
5. Implications. Ron asked two questions: What is the worst thing that could happen if we don’t resolve this conflict? and, What is the best thing that could happen if we resolve this conflict? Again, he wrote their answers down. It became clear that the outcome of this conflict would either make or break the church.
Then he asked, “Which scenario do we want to shoot for?” Ron moved the group from defending adversarial positions to unanimously voting to seek a mutual position.
6. Ideas. “What are some ideas for reaching that goal?” Ron asked. As a team, they brainstormed and agreed on an answer. Finally Ron returned to the first large notes and, one by one, reviewed their original concerns. “What are we going to do about this concern?” he asked, making sure every concern was dealt with. Later I typed up my notes from the meeting, and sent a copy to everybody involved.
After that meeting, enemies became friends and peace was restored. I have used these techniques since to mend marriages and heal friendships.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Weekly Update
Last week we estimate that nearly 900 people came through our doors. We have our weekend services, our Wednesday night program, and our Harvest party. We give the praise, honor, and glory to God!
One of our biggest challenges is running out of room. We have been praying and thinking about this great challenge. We plan to present a plan to congregation soon and get their input. One of our core values as a church is to be a "reaching" church. We desire to reach those outside the fmaily of God. Why? Jesus went to the cross for them. Obviously, we need to follow His example and give our all to reach them with the message that they matter to God!
I am excited! We are depopulating hell and populating heaven. We are changing the world-one person at a time. We are building a ministry that will contine changing the world after we are gone. We are making a difference!
One of our biggest challenges is running out of room. We have been praying and thinking about this great challenge. We plan to present a plan to congregation soon and get their input. One of our core values as a church is to be a "reaching" church. We desire to reach those outside the fmaily of God. Why? Jesus went to the cross for them. Obviously, we need to follow His example and give our all to reach them with the message that they matter to God!
I am excited! We are depopulating hell and populating heaven. We are changing the world-one person at a time. We are building a ministry that will contine changing the world after we are gone. We are making a difference!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10 more attitudes that make a difference!
1. How can I make a contribution today?
2. I will strive for the respect of people I respect!
3. Become genuinely interested in people.
4. Have I heard both side of the story?
5. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
6. I am right now in my own acre of diamonds. Possibilites surround me.
7. Have I explored the different options?
8. Others have done it, so I can do it.
9. Begin with the end in mind.
10. Pull the toothe. Deal with the issue.
2. I will strive for the respect of people I respect!
3. Become genuinely interested in people.
4. Have I heard both side of the story?
5. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
6. I am right now in my own acre of diamonds. Possibilites surround me.
7. Have I explored the different options?
8. Others have done it, so I can do it.
9. Begin with the end in mind.
10. Pull the toothe. Deal with the issue.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
10 Attitudes that make a difference!
Last night I started a list of "Attitudes that make a difference." I have about fifty so far. Let me share 10 with you today.
1. This too will pass!
2. God bless them, I forgive them, and wish them well.
3. Everybody is entitled to their opinion.
4. Inch by inch anything is a cynch.
5. I am responsible for my response.
6. People are brought into our lives to enrich us with their differences.
7. Wow, you see it differently. Tell me more.
8. Failure is failing to try.
9. I am a professional problem solver. If I didn't have any problems I wouldn't have a job.
10. It is easier to react then to think!
1. This too will pass!
2. God bless them, I forgive them, and wish them well.
3. Everybody is entitled to their opinion.
4. Inch by inch anything is a cynch.
5. I am responsible for my response.
6. People are brought into our lives to enrich us with their differences.
7. Wow, you see it differently. Tell me more.
8. Failure is failing to try.
9. I am a professional problem solver. If I didn't have any problems I wouldn't have a job.
10. It is easier to react then to think!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Cutty's!
On Friday we took off for Okoboji, Ia. My family has gone down there for years. We go to a resort called Cutty's. I have many fond memories of that place. It is very nestaligic to go there. Some of the highlights of the weekend where swimming, Swinging (on the swing set), and playing football.
One afternoon I layed on the grass and watched the clouds go by. I also got a few zzzz's in. It was a very reflective time.
On a more soulful note, I have realized that my attitude has gone sour lately. As I was thinking about that, I realized a few reason why:
1. I have been watching too much news. No more news for me. It depresses me!
2. I have neglected my prayer times with God. As I spend time with God, he gives me His peace. When I nelgect him, I forfeit His peace.
3. I have been out of my gifts in a few areas. In other words, when I am out of my gifts, it drains me. When I am in my gifts, it energizes me.
4. I have been failing to put positve seeds in my mind. As a result, the weeds have taken over.
Thank God that today is a new day. I can start a new today, and let Christ baptize my attitude. Lord, help me to think like you do! Amen!
One afternoon I layed on the grass and watched the clouds go by. I also got a few zzzz's in. It was a very reflective time.
On a more soulful note, I have realized that my attitude has gone sour lately. As I was thinking about that, I realized a few reason why:
1. I have been watching too much news. No more news for me. It depresses me!
2. I have neglected my prayer times with God. As I spend time with God, he gives me His peace. When I nelgect him, I forfeit His peace.
3. I have been out of my gifts in a few areas. In other words, when I am out of my gifts, it drains me. When I am in my gifts, it energizes me.
4. I have been failing to put positve seeds in my mind. As a result, the weeds have taken over.
Thank God that today is a new day. I can start a new today, and let Christ baptize my attitude. Lord, help me to think like you do! Amen!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Five things kids need from their parents!
I am in a men's group on Tuesday mornings. It is wonderful. On Tuesday the speaker, Robert Lewis talked about five things our kids need from us as parents:
1. Time together. ( When we spend time with our kids it puts weight in their soul)
2. Life skills ( Teach them how to win in life. Don't keep them guessing)
3. Direction ( Teach them a philosophy of life. Tell them what life is about)
4. Conviction through modeling. (You will leave in your kids what you live in your home)
5. Our heart ( Do three things for your kids: 1. Tell them you love them. 2. Tell them you are proud of them. 3. Tell them something they are good at)
1. Time together. ( When we spend time with our kids it puts weight in their soul)
2. Life skills ( Teach them how to win in life. Don't keep them guessing)
3. Direction ( Teach them a philosophy of life. Tell them what life is about)
4. Conviction through modeling. (You will leave in your kids what you live in your home)
5. Our heart ( Do three things for your kids: 1. Tell them you love them. 2. Tell them you are proud of them. 3. Tell them something they are good at)
Monday, October 6, 2008
Weekly Up Date
I just got out of our staff meeting. We meet every Monday from 12:30-2:30. We begin with an ice-breaker. Why? We as a church place a high priority on Community, relationships,etc. We model that as a staff. After the ice breaker, we identity challenges and then brain storm how we can solve them. We had a very energizing staff meeting today. The staff feels like the church has really rallied around the ABC's. I Concur!
I love the men's group. One of the highlight's of my week is seeing men open up to each other in soul to soul talk. This week my group ended by having each man pray for the men across from him. For some men this was the first time they ever prayed for each other. We have about 20 men coming to learn how to be a Godly man.
Our Wedneday night program is about 200 times larger then we expected. So we our making adjustements as we go. One of the things we have learned is that we have to verify an assumption. If you are a parent dropping your kid off on Wednesday night, remember that classes run from 6:30-8:00. Please supervise them before and after that time. In addition, please show up around 7:50 so you are here to get them when class is over. Thanks for your cooperation.
CCC is a learning organization. We learn as we go. That has been a theme of our church. We don't have it all figured out. We make mistakes. We try to learn from them.
I am excited to see what the Lord does this week as we help people Accept Jesus, Become like Jesus, and Contribute Jesus to our world!
I love the men's group. One of the highlight's of my week is seeing men open up to each other in soul to soul talk. This week my group ended by having each man pray for the men across from him. For some men this was the first time they ever prayed for each other. We have about 20 men coming to learn how to be a Godly man.
Our Wedneday night program is about 200 times larger then we expected. So we our making adjustements as we go. One of the things we have learned is that we have to verify an assumption. If you are a parent dropping your kid off on Wednesday night, remember that classes run from 6:30-8:00. Please supervise them before and after that time. In addition, please show up around 7:50 so you are here to get them when class is over. Thanks for your cooperation.
CCC is a learning organization. We learn as we go. That has been a theme of our church. We don't have it all figured out. We make mistakes. We try to learn from them.
I am excited to see what the Lord does this week as we help people Accept Jesus, Become like Jesus, and Contribute Jesus to our world!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
A Formula for Hard Times
1. "He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place and in that fact I will rest."
2. He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.
3. Then he will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn.
4. In His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows.
So let me say, I am (1) here by God's appointment; (2) in His keeping; (3) under His training; and (4) for His time.
-Andrew Murray
Quoted in 'Green Leaf in Drought' by Isobel Kuhn
2. He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.
3. Then he will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn.
4. In His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows.
So let me say, I am (1) here by God's appointment; (2) in His keeping; (3) under His training; and (4) for His time.
-Andrew Murray
Quoted in 'Green Leaf in Drought' by Isobel Kuhn
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF SPIRITUAL LEADERS
FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF SPIRITUAL LEADERS
By Henry Blackaby
1. SPIRITUAL LEADERS MOVE PEOPLE FOM WHERE THEY ARE TO WHERE GOD WANTS THEM TO BE.
2. SPIRITUAL LEADERS DEPEND ON THE HOLY SPIRIT
3. SPIRITUAL LEADERS ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD.
4. SPIRITUAL LEADERS CAN INFLUENCE ALL PEOPLE NOT JUST GOD’S PEOPLE.
5. SPIRITUAL LEADERS WORK FROM GOD’S AGENDA
-
By Henry Blackaby
1. SPIRITUAL LEADERS MOVE PEOPLE FOM WHERE THEY ARE TO WHERE GOD WANTS THEM TO BE.
2. SPIRITUAL LEADERS DEPEND ON THE HOLY SPIRIT
3. SPIRITUAL LEADERS ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD.
4. SPIRITUAL LEADERS CAN INFLUENCE ALL PEOPLE NOT JUST GOD’S PEOPLE.
5. SPIRITUAL LEADERS WORK FROM GOD’S AGENDA
-
Monday, September 22, 2008
What a week!
What an amazing week of ministry!
On Tuesday we started the men's fraternity. Around 17 men showed up. The material was wonderful. The guys also really connected with each others.
I found out this morning that over 250 people from our church are in a small group (Including kids). Our Wednesday night program was wonderful. It was full of fun and chaos. We will have the chaos factor for over a month. We can not expect all that chaos to clear up right away. But eventually it will. We will settle into a routine. And God will use these changes to for His glory and for the growth of his church.
On Sunday after church we had a baptismal service. Seven people will baptized. What a special service. I could feel the Holy Spirit. I could sense the party in heaven going on.
What a week. What a church. What a great time to be alive!
On Tuesday we started the men's fraternity. Around 17 men showed up. The material was wonderful. The guys also really connected with each others.
I found out this morning that over 250 people from our church are in a small group (Including kids). Our Wednesday night program was wonderful. It was full of fun and chaos. We will have the chaos factor for over a month. We can not expect all that chaos to clear up right away. But eventually it will. We will settle into a routine. And God will use these changes to for His glory and for the growth of his church.
On Sunday after church we had a baptismal service. Seven people will baptized. What a special service. I could feel the Holy Spirit. I could sense the party in heaven going on.
What a week. What a church. What a great time to be alive!
Monday, September 8, 2008
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
I came across this prayer a while back. It has been a real blessing to me:
Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes, we have plenty of food to eat.
Thank you for this pile of dirty laundry, we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.
And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds. They were so warm and so comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy towels and dirty lavatory. They are so convenient.
We have so much to be grateful for. Let’s count our blessings not our troubles.
Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes, we have plenty of food to eat.
Thank you for this pile of dirty laundry, we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.
And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds. They were so warm and so comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy towels and dirty lavatory. They are so convenient.
We have so much to be grateful for. Let’s count our blessings not our troubles.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Lake City:Here we come!
Yesterday we went to Lake City!
The kids fought in the back seat almost the whole trip there. That wasn't fun. When we got there, however, we had fun. One of the highlights was feeding the Sea Gulls. We feed them bread. The kids loved it. (One of my greatest joys is seeing my kids joyful.)
Tammy is quite the explorer. She and the kids searched the beach for stones. I took a short nap on the beach. Afterwards, we walked on the pier. I remember walking on it as a kid with my parents.
When we got home, we started getting ready for the first day of school. After supper we turned on some Jungle Book music and danced. What a wonderful day!
The kids fought in the back seat almost the whole trip there. That wasn't fun. When we got there, however, we had fun. One of the highlights was feeding the Sea Gulls. We feed them bread. The kids loved it. (One of my greatest joys is seeing my kids joyful.)
Tammy is quite the explorer. She and the kids searched the beach for stones. I took a short nap on the beach. Afterwards, we walked on the pier. I remember walking on it as a kid with my parents.
When we got home, we started getting ready for the first day of school. After supper we turned on some Jungle Book music and danced. What a wonderful day!
Monday, August 25, 2008
LAUGHTER IS GOOD MEDICINE!
Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine," and contemporary research seems to underscore this truth.
"Bob Hope made it to his 100th birthday, and so did George Burns. Coincidence? Maybe not, says Michael Irwin of UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine and former adviser for the federally funded National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine. "Laughter releases endorphins—those 'feel good' hormones suspected of boosting immunity—and that might make you more resistant to disease."
"At the very least," Irwin adds, "laughter reduces stress hormones, which we know have a bad effect on immunity."
"If you're the strong, silent type, a good belly laugh now and then may be especially important. Doctors used to think hard-charging Type As were at heightened risk for heart disease, but we've moved on from that…" says David Katz, a preventive medicine specialist at Yale School of Public Health. "We know now it's having a so-called Type D personality—someone who bottles up emotions—that really causes an increased risk of heart disease and possibly cancer," Katz says.
So, laugh! It's a prescription for healthy living.
(Sid Kirschheimer, "Never Get Sick!" AARP (May/June 2007), p. 70)
"Bob Hope made it to his 100th birthday, and so did George Burns. Coincidence? Maybe not, says Michael Irwin of UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine and former adviser for the federally funded National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine. "Laughter releases endorphins—those 'feel good' hormones suspected of boosting immunity—and that might make you more resistant to disease."
"At the very least," Irwin adds, "laughter reduces stress hormones, which we know have a bad effect on immunity."
"If you're the strong, silent type, a good belly laugh now and then may be especially important. Doctors used to think hard-charging Type As were at heightened risk for heart disease, but we've moved on from that…" says David Katz, a preventive medicine specialist at Yale School of Public Health. "We know now it's having a so-called Type D personality—someone who bottles up emotions—that really causes an increased risk of heart disease and possibly cancer," Katz says.
So, laugh! It's a prescription for healthy living.
(Sid Kirschheimer, "Never Get Sick!" AARP (May/June 2007), p. 70)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Wisdom from a 7 year old!
The other day I was driving in the car with Dalton and he said, “ Dad, do you know how I can tell whose going to win in a fight?”
“ How can you tell who is going to win in a fight?” I replied.
“The person who has more of Jesus… will always win," he said with complete assurance.
After he said that I basked in his wisdom. I don’t know about you, but my kids teach me something every day. And it is true, the more of Jesus you have... the more you can overcome life’s challenges!
Seek Jesus today. Ask him to fill you up with His strength!
“ How can you tell who is going to win in a fight?” I replied.
“The person who has more of Jesus… will always win," he said with complete assurance.
After he said that I basked in his wisdom. I don’t know about you, but my kids teach me something every day. And it is true, the more of Jesus you have... the more you can overcome life’s challenges!
Seek Jesus today. Ask him to fill you up with His strength!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Mandela's Eight Lessons of Leadership
In honor of Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday, Richard Stengel, managing editor of Time magazine, put together Mandela's eight lessons of leadership.
Stengel writes: "[The lessons] are cobbled together from…conversations old and new and from observing [Mandela] up close and from afar. Many of them stem directly from his personal experience. All of them are calibrated to cause the best kind of trouble: the trouble that forces us to ask how we can make the world a better place."
Here are Mandela's eight lessons of leadership:
1. Courage is not the absence of fear—it's inspiring others to move beyond it.
2. Lead from the front—but don't leave your base behind.
3. Lead from the back—and let others believe they are in front.
4. Know your enemy—and learn about his favorite sport. [In order to work more effectively with Afrikaners, Mandela learned their language and all about their most cherished sport: rugby.
5. Keep your friends close—and your rivals even closer.
6. Appearances matter—and remember to smile.
7. Nothing is black or white.
8. Quitting is leading too.
Richard Stengel, "Mandela: His 8 Lessons of Leadership," Time (7-21-08), pp. 42-48
Stengel writes: "[The lessons] are cobbled together from…conversations old and new and from observing [Mandela] up close and from afar. Many of them stem directly from his personal experience. All of them are calibrated to cause the best kind of trouble: the trouble that forces us to ask how we can make the world a better place."
Here are Mandela's eight lessons of leadership:
1. Courage is not the absence of fear—it's inspiring others to move beyond it.
2. Lead from the front—but don't leave your base behind.
3. Lead from the back—and let others believe they are in front.
4. Know your enemy—and learn about his favorite sport. [In order to work more effectively with Afrikaners, Mandela learned their language and all about their most cherished sport: rugby.
5. Keep your friends close—and your rivals even closer.
6. Appearances matter—and remember to smile.
7. Nothing is black or white.
8. Quitting is leading too.
Richard Stengel, "Mandela: His 8 Lessons of Leadership," Time (7-21-08), pp. 42-48
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Prayer as Control?
Yesterday I was in the sanctuary praying. I found myself telling God what to do. I found myself trying to control situations I have no control over. After realizing what i was doing, a thought occured to me:
Maybe prayer isn't so much about trying to control outcomes? Maybe it's more about resigning to God's will? Maybe it's not so much about getting done what i want done? Maybe it's more about alignging my will to what God wants done?
I know we should pray and ask God for what we need. But I think we (I) often try and control God.
"Be still and know that i am God,' said the Psalmist. May God help us to do that!
Maybe prayer isn't so much about trying to control outcomes? Maybe it's more about resigning to God's will? Maybe it's not so much about getting done what i want done? Maybe it's more about alignging my will to what God wants done?
I know we should pray and ask God for what we need. But I think we (I) often try and control God.
"Be still and know that i am God,' said the Psalmist. May God help us to do that!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Peace Maker's Pledge
I came across something once called the Peace Maker's Pledge. It was made by Ken Sande. I recommend his excellent book: The Peace Maker: A biblical guide to resolving personal conflict.
The Peacemaker's Pledge
A Commitment to Biblical Conflict Resolution
As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict1 We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.2 Therefore, in response to God's love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:
Glorify God — Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.3
Get the Log out of Your Own Eye — Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God's mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.4
Gently Restore — Instead of pretending that conflict doesn't exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.5
Go and be reconciled — Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.6
By God's grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success in God's eyes is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers will bring praise to our Lord and lead others to know His infinite love.7
1) Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26.
2) Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4.
3) Ps. 37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12.
4) Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9.
5) Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9.
6) Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4.
7) Matt. 25:14-21; John 13:34-35; Rom. 12:18; 1 Peter 2:19; 4:19.
The Peacemaker's Pledge
A Commitment to Biblical Conflict Resolution
As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict1 We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.2 Therefore, in response to God's love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:
Glorify God — Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.3
Get the Log out of Your Own Eye — Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God's mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.4
Gently Restore — Instead of pretending that conflict doesn't exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.5
Go and be reconciled — Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.6
By God's grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success in God's eyes is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers will bring praise to our Lord and lead others to know His infinite love.7
1) Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26.
2) Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4.
3) Ps. 37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12.
4) Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9.
5) Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9.
6) Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4.
7) Matt. 25:14-21; John 13:34-35; Rom. 12:18; 1 Peter 2:19; 4:19.
Monday, July 21, 2008
A meaningful vacation
What makes a vacation meaningful to you? I asked at our last staff meeting. I would like you to think about that question.
Here is how I would answer that question:
1. Rest- I want to feel "refueled" when I get back from a vacation. Therefore, I enjoy taking naps and trying to get as much rest as I can.
2. Recreation- I like to have fun and do different things that I normally do. For example, I try and limitt my studying time while on vacation becasueI do that all the time in the midst of my every day life.
3. Reflection- I like to reflect on how my life is going. Someone once said that many people are climbing the ladder of success very fast. But they get to the top and realize it is leaning agaisnt the wrong wall. I like to reflect on what walls my ladder is leaning and is it the right one.
4. Reconnect- I like to reconnect with my family and invest my time with them.
"Change of pace...change of place....change of perspective"
Here is how I would answer that question:
1. Rest- I want to feel "refueled" when I get back from a vacation. Therefore, I enjoy taking naps and trying to get as much rest as I can.
2. Recreation- I like to have fun and do different things that I normally do. For example, I try and limitt my studying time while on vacation becasueI do that all the time in the midst of my every day life.
3. Reflection- I like to reflect on how my life is going. Someone once said that many people are climbing the ladder of success very fast. But they get to the top and realize it is leaning agaisnt the wrong wall. I like to reflect on what walls my ladder is leaning and is it the right one.
4. Reconnect- I like to reconnect with my family and invest my time with them.
"Change of pace...change of place....change of perspective"
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Dad, are you proud of me?
On Sunday afternoon, Dalton asked me a question I think every man is asking of his wife. He asked, " Dad, are you proud of me?"
Are you proud of your husband? Do you let him know you are?
William Harley wrote His needs, Her needs. In it he writes, "You’ve heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” I’d like to amend it to make… “Behind every man should be an admiring woman.”
Are you proud of your husband? Do you let him know you are?
William Harley wrote His needs, Her needs. In it he writes, "You’ve heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” I’d like to amend it to make… “Behind every man should be an admiring woman.”
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The last building standing!
There is a show called, "Last comic standing." On Saturday, I saw the last building standing of Rice Lake, MN.
"Let's go exploring," I told Tammy on Saturday morning. We packed a picnic lunch, put the kids in the car and headed for Rice Lake State Park. On our way to the park, we saw a old church building. We stopped and explored. We found out that that building is the last building of a town called Rice Lake. It was once a booming town, but the rail road quit going through it and it died. Yet the one remaining building of the town is a church.
I think we can learn a lot from that Rice Lake church. Becasue the only thing that I think that ultimatly remains is the kingdom of God---the church. All else will fade away, but the church.
When you help build the church, you are helping build what lasts!
"Let's go exploring," I told Tammy on Saturday morning. We packed a picnic lunch, put the kids in the car and headed for Rice Lake State Park. On our way to the park, we saw a old church building. We stopped and explored. We found out that that building is the last building of a town called Rice Lake. It was once a booming town, but the rail road quit going through it and it died. Yet the one remaining building of the town is a church.
I think we can learn a lot from that Rice Lake church. Becasue the only thing that I think that ultimatly remains is the kingdom of God---the church. All else will fade away, but the church.
When you help build the church, you are helping build what lasts!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Let God evaluate your life!
Recentely I have come across a thought that has challenged me. It is: Let God evaluate your life.
That sentence speaks to me because, as a recovering people pleaser, I can tend to let people's evaluation come before God's. I can tend to connect my worth to people's opinion of me. I can tend to let their evaluation didcate my moods. And after years of struggling with this I have learned: If you are unsuccesful people will criticize you. If you are successful people will criticize you. No matter what you do people will criticize you. Therefore, let us live for an audience of one.
I want to encourage you to let God evaluate your life. Live for an audience of one. One day you and I will have to give an account for our life. And it won't be to our negative relatives. It won't be to our critics. It will be to God.
Sense he is the one who will evaluate us anyways, why don't we let him evaluate our life.
That sentence speaks to me because, as a recovering people pleaser, I can tend to let people's evaluation come before God's. I can tend to connect my worth to people's opinion of me. I can tend to let their evaluation didcate my moods. And after years of struggling with this I have learned: If you are unsuccesful people will criticize you. If you are successful people will criticize you. No matter what you do people will criticize you. Therefore, let us live for an audience of one.
I want to encourage you to let God evaluate your life. Live for an audience of one. One day you and I will have to give an account for our life. And it won't be to our negative relatives. It won't be to our critics. It will be to God.
Sense he is the one who will evaluate us anyways, why don't we let him evaluate our life.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Stirred!
I have been immersing myself in the life of a man named George Muller. He was born in 1805 and died in 1898. He was used by God to raise up orphanages, and in his lifetime his ministry tocuhed and cared for over 10, 024 orphans.
What touched me the most about him, however, was his faith and strong belief in prayer. His single life purpose was to glorify God by helping people take God at his word. I would like to include some powerful quotes he said. I pray they will bless you the way they have blessed me.
1. He was a theif, drunk and liar as a young man. Then he went to a bible study and his life was changed.
“It was to me as if I had found something after which I had been seeking all my life long. I immediately wished to go.” “They read the Bible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon.”To his amazement Mueller said, “The whole made a deep impression on me. I was happy; though, if I had been asked, why I was happy I could not have clearly explained it. “I have not the least doubt, that on that evening, [God] began a work of grace in me. . . . That evening was the turning point in my life.” (john Piper, Muller's strategy for showing God).
2. He trusted God to meet the needs of the ministry. He wrote:
When faced with a crisis in having the means to pay a bill he would say, “How the means are to come, I know not; but I know that God is almighty, that the hearts of all are in His hands, and that, if He pleaseth to influence persons, they will send help.”That is the root of his confidence: God is almighty, the hearts of all men are in his hands, and when God chooses to influence their hearts they will give. (Ibid)
3. Read this plea:
My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you.
Trust God! Take him at his word! Pray!
What touched me the most about him, however, was his faith and strong belief in prayer. His single life purpose was to glorify God by helping people take God at his word. I would like to include some powerful quotes he said. I pray they will bless you the way they have blessed me.
1. He was a theif, drunk and liar as a young man. Then he went to a bible study and his life was changed.
“It was to me as if I had found something after which I had been seeking all my life long. I immediately wished to go.” “They read the Bible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon.”To his amazement Mueller said, “The whole made a deep impression on me. I was happy; though, if I had been asked, why I was happy I could not have clearly explained it. “I have not the least doubt, that on that evening, [God] began a work of grace in me. . . . That evening was the turning point in my life.” (john Piper, Muller's strategy for showing God).
2. He trusted God to meet the needs of the ministry. He wrote:
When faced with a crisis in having the means to pay a bill he would say, “How the means are to come, I know not; but I know that God is almighty, that the hearts of all are in His hands, and that, if He pleaseth to influence persons, they will send help.”That is the root of his confidence: God is almighty, the hearts of all men are in his hands, and when God chooses to influence their hearts they will give. (Ibid)
3. Read this plea:
My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not know for yourself . . . the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as to me. . . . Every one is invited and commanded to trust in the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you.
Trust God! Take him at his word! Pray!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Worship
I started reading a book yesterday on worship. It really, really blessed me. There where four ideas about corporate worship that really hit home.
1. How does God regard our worship? Many times we are so focused on others, we forget that worship is about God.
2. "Expect wonders," sats Bayor Asprin. We should expect wonders when we come to worship God.
3. We don't want people to watch worship; we want them to actually worship. Do you watch worship? Or do you enter in and focus your attention on worshipping God?
4. We are all the worship team not just the people on the stage. God is the audience; we are all the worship team.
1. How does God regard our worship? Many times we are so focused on others, we forget that worship is about God.
2. "Expect wonders," sats Bayor Asprin. We should expect wonders when we come to worship God.
3. We don't want people to watch worship; we want them to actually worship. Do you watch worship? Or do you enter in and focus your attention on worshipping God?
4. We are all the worship team not just the people on the stage. God is the audience; we are all the worship team.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Thanks for your input!
Yesterday we had our last input meeting. We discussed our five year plane for the future. We listend to about half of the familes that come to CCC. What a smashing success. I was delighted to hear from all of you. Thank you for caring enough to share, we will consider your input prayerfully, and go from there.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Back from Wisconsin
On Thursday we left for my brother's house in Milton, WIsconsin. It is about four hours away. As we pulled out the drive way, Dalton said, " Are we almost there."
It was a great get away. I felt very relaxed when we got back.
While there, My kids got to play with all their cousins. They had a great time. We as a adults got to relax and eat too much. I asked Dalton what he enjoyed the most about the trip and he said three things:
1. We played a video game that my brother Josh brought.
2. We played football in the back yard.
3. We hid Easter eggs and the kids had to find them.
We got back on Sunday around 5 PM. Someone once said: "A change of pace, a change of place, equals a change of perspective." How true.
It was a great get away. I felt very relaxed when we got back.
While there, My kids got to play with all their cousins. They had a great time. We as a adults got to relax and eat too much. I asked Dalton what he enjoyed the most about the trip and he said three things:
1. We played a video game that my brother Josh brought.
2. We played football in the back yard.
3. We hid Easter eggs and the kids had to find them.
We got back on Sunday around 5 PM. Someone once said: "A change of pace, a change of place, equals a change of perspective." How true.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Seek first to understand then to be understood!
In his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, Steven Covey taught me one of the most important principles I have ever learned: seek first to understand then to be understood.
Here are some key thoughts on that important principle:
1. Diagnose before you prescribe. The goal of empathetic listening is to deeply understand another from their frame of reference. Listen with the intent to understand not reply. Most people are either speaking or waiting to speak. They are not listening.
2. There are Five kinds of listening:
1. Ignoring
2. Pretending
3. Selective listening
4. Attentive listening- Listen to only words
5. Empathetic listening-listen with eyes and ears.
3. The essence of empathetic listening is not the you agree with the person. Instead, you deeply understand them from their frame of reference. You are seeking to understand the reality in another person’s head and heart.
4. There are 4 ways we usually respond to others:
1. We evaluate- We agree or disagree before we truly understand what they are saying
2. We advise-
3. We probe- Minatare shrink them
4. We interpret-
5. The essence of empathetic listening is: Rephrase content and reflect feeling. When we do this we give a person psychological air. We help them work through their own thoughts and feelings. It opens them up to a soul to soul talk.
6. When they are talking logically, rephrase content. When they are talking emotionally, reflect feeling.
7. “I am sorry, I just realized that I am not really trying to understand you, could we start again…”
Here are some key thoughts on that important principle:
1. Diagnose before you prescribe. The goal of empathetic listening is to deeply understand another from their frame of reference. Listen with the intent to understand not reply. Most people are either speaking or waiting to speak. They are not listening.
2. There are Five kinds of listening:
1. Ignoring
2. Pretending
3. Selective listening
4. Attentive listening- Listen to only words
5. Empathetic listening-listen with eyes and ears.
3. The essence of empathetic listening is not the you agree with the person. Instead, you deeply understand them from their frame of reference. You are seeking to understand the reality in another person’s head and heart.
4. There are 4 ways we usually respond to others:
1. We evaluate- We agree or disagree before we truly understand what they are saying
2. We advise-
3. We probe- Minatare shrink them
4. We interpret-
5. The essence of empathetic listening is: Rephrase content and reflect feeling. When we do this we give a person psychological air. We help them work through their own thoughts and feelings. It opens them up to a soul to soul talk.
6. When they are talking logically, rephrase content. When they are talking emotionally, reflect feeling.
7. “I am sorry, I just realized that I am not really trying to understand you, could we start again…”
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
CONVICTED!
Last night we had our first class of "parenting for teenagers." It was one of the most moving classes I have ever been to. It taught me:
1. It's tough being a kid today. We think they go to school and come home. We forget about all the pressure that is on them. After the class I wanted to go and hug every teenager I could.
2. Listen to your kids. During the class, I realized that I had been failing miserably in this area. I would try and "set my kids straight". But I wasn't taking the time to listen to them. I went home and listened to Dalton. Afterwards I layed in bed under the conviction of the Holy Spirit abotu how I has messed up in this area. I wasn't the only one. Another Dad who was in the class came in this morning and said his teenager talked his ear off for 2 hours all because he listend to him.
When it comes to listening they recommended two skills: clarifying content and reflecting feeling.
Listen to your kids! Show them that you love them unconditionally. And pray that I would do the same!
1. It's tough being a kid today. We think they go to school and come home. We forget about all the pressure that is on them. After the class I wanted to go and hug every teenager I could.
2. Listen to your kids. During the class, I realized that I had been failing miserably in this area. I would try and "set my kids straight". But I wasn't taking the time to listen to them. I went home and listened to Dalton. Afterwards I layed in bed under the conviction of the Holy Spirit abotu how I has messed up in this area. I wasn't the only one. Another Dad who was in the class came in this morning and said his teenager talked his ear off for 2 hours all because he listend to him.
When it comes to listening they recommended two skills: clarifying content and reflecting feeling.
Listen to your kids! Show them that you love them unconditionally. And pray that I would do the same!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
7 Steps to giving constrcutive criticism!
I recently read about giving constructive criticism. The thing that blessed me the most was when we give people constructive criticism they should, " feel better and more capable of doing a better job in the future."
With that in mind, here are the 7 steps:
1. Protect their self esteem. “I think you are doing a great job and…”
2. Focus on the future not the past. “Next time, why don’t we…”
3. Focus on behavior not the person. “Your sales figures are below expectations. What can we do to get them up?”
4. Use “I” messages. “I feel very angry when…”
5. Get clear agreement on what is to change and how. “ In the future it is important for you to take clear notes.”
6. Offer help. “What can I do to help you in this situation?”
7. Assume the other person wants to do a good job.
With that in mind, here are the 7 steps:
1. Protect their self esteem. “I think you are doing a great job and…”
2. Focus on the future not the past. “Next time, why don’t we…”
3. Focus on behavior not the person. “Your sales figures are below expectations. What can we do to get them up?”
4. Use “I” messages. “I feel very angry when…”
5. Get clear agreement on what is to change and how. “ In the future it is important for you to take clear notes.”
6. Offer help. “What can I do to help you in this situation?”
7. Assume the other person wants to do a good job.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Off to the Dentist's office
I took Miracle to the Dentist this morning. On the way she was crying, "I don't want to go to the dentist." Once we got there we where led to a room. Then a very nice nurse made Miracle feel special. She let Miracle pick out stickers, a toothbrush, and a movie to watch.
When we left, Miracle said, " I like the dentist."
I wonder if people come to church with fear in their heart. "I don't want to go the church. What if I don't fit in? What if i make a mistake?"
What if you and I where like that nurse? What if we took the time to make people feel special and important? Might they say when they leave, "I like church."
When we left, Miracle said, " I like the dentist."
I wonder if people come to church with fear in their heart. "I don't want to go the church. What if I don't fit in? What if i make a mistake?"
What if you and I where like that nurse? What if we took the time to make people feel special and important? Might they say when they leave, "I like church."
Thursday, March 27, 2008
A Journal for your kids
Yesterday I started a journal for Miracle. My goal is to periodically write about her and the things we have done together. I plan to give that journal to her, maybe when she graduates. I heard of this idea and I think it's a good one. I thought I'd pass it on!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Leave it at the office!
I struggle with "leaving it at the office." If we have a problem (Many of us think that problems are bad. I don't. I have come to the conclusion that if there weren't any problems I wouldn't have a job. I am a professional problem solver. And so are you) at church, I can tend to take it home with me and Stew over it. As a result, I can be home physically, but not mentally. However, I have found something that helps me. When I go home, I pray a prayer that goes:
God, my shift is up. I have this problem. Would you work on it tonight and tell me what to do in the morning. After all Lord, it's your church!
God, my shift is up. I have this problem. Would you work on it tonight and tell me what to do in the morning. After all Lord, it's your church!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Mooved my office
I am sitting in Pastor Sue's old office. Looking out the window as I write, enjoying the sunshine. For the last year and a half, I had my office up stairs. I hated it. I felt like I was in a dark dungeon. I missed the light. Thank God I am back in the light again.
I don't know about you, but I am excited about spring and summer. It has been a long winter. But that is just going to make spring that much more sweeter!
I don't know about you, but I am excited about spring and summer. It has been a long winter. But that is just going to make spring that much more sweeter!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Reverse Worrying!
Are you a good worrier? If so, think about this. When you are worrying what are you doing? You are practicing NEGATIVE "What if" thinking.
What if I loose my job and can't pay the bills? What if I make that speech and choke? What if I talk to that person and they reject me?
Notice that you are imagining the worst case scenario. What if you where to imagine the best case scenario?
What if I lose my job and God has something better in store? What if I make that speech and it touches someone's life for eternity? What if I talk to that person and they become a life long friend?
Why not try "reverse worrying." When you find yourself worrying about the worst, why not switch that around and think about the best case scenario?
I like what David said in 2 Samuel 12:22. He imagines the best. He says, " Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live."
What if I loose my job and can't pay the bills? What if I make that speech and choke? What if I talk to that person and they reject me?
Notice that you are imagining the worst case scenario. What if you where to imagine the best case scenario?
What if I lose my job and God has something better in store? What if I make that speech and it touches someone's life for eternity? What if I talk to that person and they become a life long friend?
Why not try "reverse worrying." When you find yourself worrying about the worst, why not switch that around and think about the best case scenario?
I like what David said in 2 Samuel 12:22. He imagines the best. He says, " Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live."
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Inferiority Complex
Do you struggle with a inferiority complex? Many people do. Where does this come from? I am not sure. But I was reading this week and I found a good quote.
I am not inferior.
I am not superior.
I just am.
In other words, many times we think we have to live up the "standards" of others. We have to look like them. We have to dress like them. We have to have their personaility. Wrong. God hasn't asked you to be them. He's asked you to be you.
Be you, all else is sin.
I am not inferior.
I am not superior.
I just am.
In other words, many times we think we have to live up the "standards" of others. We have to look like them. We have to dress like them. We have to have their personaility. Wrong. God hasn't asked you to be them. He's asked you to be you.
Be you, all else is sin.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
School of Ministry
Yesterday I spoke at the school of ministry. The school of ministry is a conference that newly credentialed ministers go through in our fellowship. It is a great honor to be able to speak at this conference.
One of the things that I told them is that for the past 10 years I have been in the "school of ministry". God has used the ministry to stretch me and grow me. Much of that growth has come through pain. That is one of the reasons I like ministry: it's hard. It causes you to be humble and dependent on God.
Like me, you are in a school. It is called the school of life. Are you learning the lessons?
Think about these five rules of life:
1. You will learn lessons.
2. There are no mistakes only lessons.
3. A lesson is repeated until we learn it.
4. If you don’t learn it the easy way it gets harder.
5. You know you have learned the lesson when your actions change.
One of the things that I told them is that for the past 10 years I have been in the "school of ministry". God has used the ministry to stretch me and grow me. Much of that growth has come through pain. That is one of the reasons I like ministry: it's hard. It causes you to be humble and dependent on God.
Like me, you are in a school. It is called the school of life. Are you learning the lessons?
Think about these five rules of life:
1. You will learn lessons.
2. There are no mistakes only lessons.
3. A lesson is repeated until we learn it.
4. If you don’t learn it the easy way it gets harder.
5. You know you have learned the lesson when your actions change.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Practical Atheism
I struggle with "practical Atheism."
In short, many times I find myself acting as if there is no God. I confess with my mouth that there is a God. But many times my lifestyle says other wise. The other day I was reading in my bible and I reaized that I had been neglecting my life-giving connection with God. When I do that, I tend to try and face problems and challenges in my strength.
" How can I solve it?" I often think. Instead of trusting in God, I often Trust in myself.
Time and time again, I find myself reverting back to this bad habit. Someone has said, " God doesn't want to teach us a thousand lessons in one way; He wants to teach us one lesson in a thousand ways."
The one lesson he teaches me is that He is God and I am not. I can choose to go it alone. I can choose to face my situaitons and challenges alone. Or I can choose to face them with Him.
Lord, forgive me for forgetting you do easily. I need you. I am poor in spirit. I can not be the dad you want me to be alone. I can not be the husand you want me to be alone. I can not be the pastor you want me to be alone. But in your strength I can do all things.
In short, many times I find myself acting as if there is no God. I confess with my mouth that there is a God. But many times my lifestyle says other wise. The other day I was reading in my bible and I reaized that I had been neglecting my life-giving connection with God. When I do that, I tend to try and face problems and challenges in my strength.
" How can I solve it?" I often think. Instead of trusting in God, I often Trust in myself.
Time and time again, I find myself reverting back to this bad habit. Someone has said, " God doesn't want to teach us a thousand lessons in one way; He wants to teach us one lesson in a thousand ways."
The one lesson he teaches me is that He is God and I am not. I can choose to go it alone. I can choose to face my situaitons and challenges alone. Or I can choose to face them with Him.
Lord, forgive me for forgetting you do easily. I need you. I am poor in spirit. I can not be the dad you want me to be alone. I can not be the husand you want me to be alone. I can not be the pastor you want me to be alone. But in your strength I can do all things.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Learning to Lose!
On Sunday night I was driving to our basketball game and I was extremely nervous. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. My mind was planning what to do and what not to do.
Why are you so nervous? I thought to myself.
As I thought about it. I found the answer. I didn't want to lose. I don't like to lose. I am highly competitive.
As my mind was processing this. I remembered something I read from the book Integrity by Henry Cloud.
"If you could tell parents what the one thing is that is the most important to teach their kids about success, what would it be?" a lady asked Dr. Cloud this question.
"I would teach them how to loose," he responded.
"Why in the world would you teach them how to loose?" she asked.
"Because they will," he responded.
Later on he says: "The difference between winners and loosers is not that winner's never lose. The difference is that winners lose well, and loosers lose poorely."
Did we win our basketball game? We lost 2 times and won 1. But because of this insight, I took the loss better then normal. I only layed in bed tossing and turning for 2 hours.
We all most learn to lose well.
Why are you so nervous? I thought to myself.
As I thought about it. I found the answer. I didn't want to lose. I don't like to lose. I am highly competitive.
As my mind was processing this. I remembered something I read from the book Integrity by Henry Cloud.
"If you could tell parents what the one thing is that is the most important to teach their kids about success, what would it be?" a lady asked Dr. Cloud this question.
"I would teach them how to loose," he responded.
"Why in the world would you teach them how to loose?" she asked.
"Because they will," he responded.
Later on he says: "The difference between winners and loosers is not that winner's never lose. The difference is that winners lose well, and loosers lose poorely."
Did we win our basketball game? We lost 2 times and won 1. But because of this insight, I took the loss better then normal. I only layed in bed tossing and turning for 2 hours.
We all most learn to lose well.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
We don't have heat or water!
"We don't have heat or water," said the voice on the other line. It was a lady from the day care we send Miracle to. I thanked God for heat and water.
Because of the heat and water issue, I got to stay home with Miracle. I got another surprise. Dalton woke up sick. So the three of us stayed home on Monday. I nursed my sick boy, worked on messages, and tried to play with Miracle.
The high light of the day was nap time. I LOVE NAPS! Dalton, Miracle, and I all got into our bed and took a nap together. It's amazing how much better the world looks after you took a nap.
Later that night I ventured out in the snow storm and had a board meeting. I am so grateful for the board I have. They are smart, loyal, caring, supportive, and fun. They make my job a lot easier. I got home from the board meeting at about 10:30. I gave cupake (our Beagal) a snack, and called it a day.
What a wonderful life!
Because of the heat and water issue, I got to stay home with Miracle. I got another surprise. Dalton woke up sick. So the three of us stayed home on Monday. I nursed my sick boy, worked on messages, and tried to play with Miracle.
The high light of the day was nap time. I LOVE NAPS! Dalton, Miracle, and I all got into our bed and took a nap together. It's amazing how much better the world looks after you took a nap.
Later that night I ventured out in the snow storm and had a board meeting. I am so grateful for the board I have. They are smart, loyal, caring, supportive, and fun. They make my job a lot easier. I got home from the board meeting at about 10:30. I gave cupake (our Beagal) a snack, and called it a day.
What a wonderful life!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Why Plan?
As you know, we are in a process of thinking about our next five years as a church. Some would ask, "Why plan?"
I like what Edward Dayton says in his book God's purposes/Man's plans:
The entire concept of Christian planning is based on the premise that God would have us know Him more fully and that He desires to reveal His will for our lives and for His church...
Inherent in planning is the end results. Effective planning is the first result of clear goals, the reason for planning. If we as Christians are to plan effectively, we must be convinced that setting goals is one way to respond to the will of God.
Did you ever think about planning that way? It's not so much about making plans, but rather discerning God's will. My prayer is that you would join us in our planning process as a church. And that you would seek God for His will for your life.
I like what Edward Dayton says in his book God's purposes/Man's plans:
The entire concept of Christian planning is based on the premise that God would have us know Him more fully and that He desires to reveal His will for our lives and for His church...
Inherent in planning is the end results. Effective planning is the first result of clear goals, the reason for planning. If we as Christians are to plan effectively, we must be convinced that setting goals is one way to respond to the will of God.
Did you ever think about planning that way? It's not so much about making plans, but rather discerning God's will. My prayer is that you would join us in our planning process as a church. And that you would seek God for His will for your life.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Wall Between us!
For the past week or so Tammy and I had been struggling in our relationship. We weren’t communicating. We had some areas of contention that we just couldn’t seem to get past. These differences weighed heavy on our hearts. And because we couldn’t seem to work through them, It was if their was an unseen wall was slowly being erected between us.
Now it wasn’t that we didn’t try and resolve the issues. We tried. But as we tried to communicate, we would respond impulsively. We would respond angrily. We would respond reactively. As a result, our communications weren’t making things better, but worse.
What do you do when you and your spouse can’t seem to communicate? What do you do when every conversation seems to end in a fight? What do you do when the walls of miscommunication seems to be growing thicker and thicker?
Well we both realized that we weren’t getting any way using the impulsive path. So we decided to take the inspired path. Instead of just jumping in the water, we looked for the rocks. We decided to deal with the knot in our relationship, not impulsively, but biblically.
What does the bible say about how to deal with knots in relationships? James 1:19 says: My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”
What does it say? Be quick to listen. Most of us in a heated moment aren’t quick to listen. We are quick to respond, defend, argue, and rebuke. We don’t listen with the intent to understand we listen with the intent to reply. We aren’t deeply listening; we are either speaking or waiting our turn to speak. As a result, understanding doesn’t take place, and the knot remains.
Be quick to listen. Be slow to speak. And be slow to become angry. Wow. I was doing the exact opposite. I was quick to become angry. Quick to speak. And slow to listen. No wonder why the knot remained.
So we decided to apply this principle to our knot. One person would share what was going on inside them. And the other person wouldn’t defend. They wouldn’t argue. They would listen and then when the other person was done talking they would say: If I understand you correctly, you are saying….” In other words, we did what Covey says: We sought first to understood the other person, and then we sought to be understood.
And let me tell you something. This is so so so hard. But let me tell you something: Yes, it is hard to listen deeply when you are mad at your spouse, but it is harder yet in the long run, not to. You think about that. Some of you, you and your spouse have had walls up for years, because you are more interested in being right then being happy. It’s hard to follow God’s principles, but it’s much, much harder not to.
This was hard. As Tammy was talking, I can’t tell you how many time that I wanted to jump in and start defending myself. “No, you are wrong. This is the way it is.”
I tried to the best of my ability to base my behavior, not on my feelings of the moment, but based on the principle of God’s word. I tried to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And after 3 hours of understanding, guess what? The walls crumbled. The knot was untied. Before it, we wouldn’t even look at each other, afterwards we hugged and felt connected again.
Be Quick to Listen. Slow to speak. And slow to become angry!
Now it wasn’t that we didn’t try and resolve the issues. We tried. But as we tried to communicate, we would respond impulsively. We would respond angrily. We would respond reactively. As a result, our communications weren’t making things better, but worse.
What do you do when you and your spouse can’t seem to communicate? What do you do when every conversation seems to end in a fight? What do you do when the walls of miscommunication seems to be growing thicker and thicker?
Well we both realized that we weren’t getting any way using the impulsive path. So we decided to take the inspired path. Instead of just jumping in the water, we looked for the rocks. We decided to deal with the knot in our relationship, not impulsively, but biblically.
What does the bible say about how to deal with knots in relationships? James 1:19 says: My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”
What does it say? Be quick to listen. Most of us in a heated moment aren’t quick to listen. We are quick to respond, defend, argue, and rebuke. We don’t listen with the intent to understand we listen with the intent to reply. We aren’t deeply listening; we are either speaking or waiting our turn to speak. As a result, understanding doesn’t take place, and the knot remains.
Be quick to listen. Be slow to speak. And be slow to become angry. Wow. I was doing the exact opposite. I was quick to become angry. Quick to speak. And slow to listen. No wonder why the knot remained.
So we decided to apply this principle to our knot. One person would share what was going on inside them. And the other person wouldn’t defend. They wouldn’t argue. They would listen and then when the other person was done talking they would say: If I understand you correctly, you are saying….” In other words, we did what Covey says: We sought first to understood the other person, and then we sought to be understood.
And let me tell you something. This is so so so hard. But let me tell you something: Yes, it is hard to listen deeply when you are mad at your spouse, but it is harder yet in the long run, not to. You think about that. Some of you, you and your spouse have had walls up for years, because you are more interested in being right then being happy. It’s hard to follow God’s principles, but it’s much, much harder not to.
This was hard. As Tammy was talking, I can’t tell you how many time that I wanted to jump in and start defending myself. “No, you are wrong. This is the way it is.”
I tried to the best of my ability to base my behavior, not on my feelings of the moment, but based on the principle of God’s word. I tried to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And after 3 hours of understanding, guess what? The walls crumbled. The knot was untied. Before it, we wouldn’t even look at each other, afterwards we hugged and felt connected again.
Be Quick to Listen. Slow to speak. And slow to become angry!
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